If I were to die in your arms,

It would be the sweet release from this dream.

To Be, or Yet to Be

I’m feeling alone,
Come on, throw me a bone
This heavy drape
Please tell me this isn’t my fate

I just wanna touch you
Maybe even hold, too
But you flick me away
But I still wish for today

I just wanna run away
From the fray, today,
Instead crochet,
A key to my heart
Please don’t part

Of you, I still dream
Whilst you lie near
But I still fear
Looking into the mirror

Afraid of what I’ll see
What I am to be
Diseased and falling apart
At my minds own Bonaparte.

Fuck Me

Tonight tomorrow but today
This depression, my shade
Each time of day, the day parade
Now watch me slide into fade

Yesterdays shade has got me black
Today’s crave has brought me back
Tomorrows cave will give me slack
One can hope, but never crack

I can’t touch what isn’t there
Life’s tough and isn’t fair
I offer love but you never share
I keep on going, truth or dare.


I’ve loved you since the day we first met
But you hurt me to my core nonetheless
Not directly, i know you would never do that
Now play this song in a somber b-flat

To know your past was okay with me
To know that nothing you’ve been through will ever be
But to know every guy you’ve been with, the number suprised me
Left me with my heart ever aching

Every time I touch, kiss, lick you
Has me think, it’s a place your men have been through.
Not a place I can go is really alone
To hold myself on the mightiest of thrones

Men from your past flooding my mind
But you my dear, ever so kind
Telling me not to think of such awful things
But many a men in mind before I can blink

I don’t want you feeling guilty or bad
But know that it’s hard for me to get over what you had
To know I might not be enough to compare
To think of the variety, should I even dare

Am I too fat, too nerdy, too tall?
Am I really the best you had out of them all?
To complement my size and my ability to please.
Am I really what you say with such simplicity?

How many eyes have you seen through
How many bodies caressed, putting forth a coup
How many invited to your bed
The same one I sleep on, oh dread

You tell me you had tinder with a fellow employee
Does he brag to his friends, does he always eye you?
Do You both relive the experience whenever he’s near you?
Who else in your daily life have you been so close to?

This is what tears me, right down to my core
To know these people you see often, I abhore
Thinking of you thinking of them, I can’t imagine
The shit you’ve experienced in the bedroom, what are my chances

It’s part of my nature to feel competitive with ego
I always wanted to be your only one, but will you let me go?
To know you can find someone so simply in life
When it took me months and many a strife

Feeling unworthy, can I even compare?
I know that you love me and really do care
But it won’t stop these feelings, this anger, this STOP
I want it to stop, my head, please guillotine, chop!

To end it all now would save me the trouble
But watch this stone skip, it was only a pebble
Watch something so small accomplish so much
I only wanted me to be the only one you touched

I lay here crying, in the dark in your arms
Sniffing and teary, far from your charm
Not wanting but also hoping for you to notice,
Me at my worst from gods given lotus

I see you and feel the love flood through
But clench what’s near me, with the thoughts that make me blue
Such anger I hate feeling from somewhere so dark
I don’t bring it up or share in fear of our part

I know I’ve said it’s forgotten, forgiven, what’s done
Your past life, already lived, not redemptive
Its so hard to do, I can’t move on from this point
Now to forget the world and let’s light up this joint

I love you but I’m hurting

The Forest

A peaceful house, No time to dwell
A peaceful house, Time will tell
A peaceful house, Surrounding me
A peaceful house, Too good to be

Temporary, This all is
Temporary, Life love and bliss
Temporary, Today my friend
Temporary, This all shall end

Hopefullness, Is what i need
Hopefullness, To excel with greed
Hopefullness, Which will end it all
Hopefullness, All my dreams, avant garde

The Universe Decided

You and I have been friends forever,
Always as friends, but never better,
Our own relationships could never bother,
Waiting for the day to be together.
Then time stopped, all at once,
Feeling like our life had shunt,
Imagining what could have been in all those months,
Unable to breath, air escaped my lungs.
Not knowing if you were safe,
If you had moved on to a better place,
Controlling my emotions, no better way to behave,
This tombstone you might as well engrave.
Had you moved on in the life of love?
Had you celebrated a major change, releasing the doves?
Had it been time for you to take off your glove?
Had you forgotten me in the stars above?

Low and behold, right under my nose,
You were here, near me and so close,
You were the one I would have always chose,
Now come into my arms and keep the door closed.

A life the universe willed us to live,
My heart is yours and my life to give,
My mind of future always adrift,
The damage done, now love redemptive.



Our love has seen the endless stars
To free us from our loss
To forever find our home in each
And to keep us from the frost

Waiting years, lovers past
But never of our own
Has taught us what we need to know
To make sure each have grown

And now you’re here in my arms
A destiny in the stars
Reaching down to push us forth
Released, our holding bars